---
ga: 44
title: "Meditation Room, tenth scene"
words: 683
---
# Meditation Room, tenth scene

JOHANNES:  
When I look back on the  
last three years, it always seems  
to me as if such a view  
increased my strength again and  
again. I see how suffering  
has made me the mediator of has made me a mediator  
of my knowledge, for when suffering  
lifted me out of my former form of existence,  
the spirit immediately permeated me  
and filled me, whereas before  
I had only been able to reflect the things  
of the spirit that stood before me  
spirit, which I myself had not yet recognized,  
to reflect the things of meaning that stood before  
me. And you, O my  
Mary, gave me certainty of  
the spirit world that entered into me.  
Through you I first gained this  
world. So you are connected with me,  
for through you I gained  
myself and the world in  
the form in which it truly is.  
Thus our fate  
brought us together.  
Back then, when I followed you  
into the spiritual world, it would have been  
a small thing for me to lose  
the whole world.  
For this whole world gave me  
only suffering. And I hardly believed  
I would find you anymore. But  
now I have you for eternity.  
The voice that guides me  
on the path to sacrifice is calling.  
Today is the day I am to make the sacrifice.  
I know that I must  
must consult the innermost powers  
of my being if I am to learn  
what sacrifice I must make  
in order to move forward. — So  
I will penetrate into myself  
as deeply as I can; it shall  
tell me the core of my being,  
what the content of the sacrifice shall be.  
(Theodosius appears.)  
You, who do not yet dwell on  
earth; the people through whom  
you can speak are only a  
weak precursor of those  
who will one day come  
to be the image of your being.  
You, whose form announced to me  
the message of those world powers  
that determine the content of the sacrifice,  
I shall learn from you  
what my star demands of me if I wish  
to continue on the path I have begun.  
O tell me the sacrifice.  
You do not speak of the present,  
you speak of the future sacrifice.  
It is not the present that speaks from you,  
but the future.

THEODOSIUS:  
Through me, the future speaks to you,  
the future that your work  
is to serve, what is incumbent upon you,  
my son. You will only see the effect of your work  
the future,  
if you are willing to make the sacrifice.  
Are you ready?

JOHANNES:  
My experience gives me  
the courage to say yes to you.

THEODOSIUS:  
You want to, despite the  
the nature of the sacrifice?

JOHANNES:  
I would be unworthy of what I have achieved  
if I could believe  
that I might shrink  
from the sacrifice, however great  
it may be.

THEODOSIUS:  
And are you certain that  
the magnitude of the sacrifice cannot exceed this  
power?

JOHANNES:  
I know that what I have achieved  
must not be lost to me,  
since without it  
I cannot perform the service  
that is incumbent upon me.  
So this sacrifice can only  
serve this purpose. I  
will bring it, because I  
must pass through the gate of initiation  
if I am to remain myself.  
So tell me the sacrifice.

THEODOSIUS:  
But the spirits of the world  
want only this sacrifice —  
if you do not make it,  
you are lost.  
There are deaths that  
are more gruesome than  
those you  
know. —  
(He disappears.)

JOHANNES:  
What is echoing from the depths of my soul?  
— Mary —  
Did my bliss deceive me?  
It was she herself who  
gave me this noble being  
three years ago.  
She rescued me from suffering;  
she bound me to her.  
She gave me the belief  
that I must work with her for the noblest cause.  
Is that too  
a deception? I had to believe  
that suffering can no longer  
grow, so my bliss tells me.  
I have gained knowledge;  
but knowledge only to achieve  
even greater pain. —